Everything's Gonna be Alright!

So, I've made promises to a lot of family and friends that I would update my blog with our crazy story from this past week and some pictures. So... here we go...

I think that the story actually starts last friday. Carson was having what I thought was just a fussy, sleepy day. All of my newborns have gone back and forth the first few weeks between sleepy days and alert days and last friday I attributed to a "sleepy day". Saturday, early morning (probably around 3am) Carson woke up to be fed. I instinctively got him out of his bassinet and nursed him. When he was done, I layed him back down and then layed down myself to go back to sleep. Suddenly it occured to me( in all of my deliriousness) that Carson felt hot to me while I was holding him. I reached over from my bed to feel his forehead. Yes, he really did feel warm. So I got out of bed to look for a thermometer. I finally found one and when I checked, his temperature read 102.8 f. HOLY CRAP! Was that right??? I un-bundled him and took his clothes off and checked again in 10 minutes.... still 102.8. So... Off we went to the rinky-dink emergency room here in our small little town.
Carson's Dr., and family friend, was on-call that night and when I saw him I immediately started bawling. He and the nurse came back to check him. They started running all of the tests that are routinely done on newborns with fevers. Between drawing his blood and starting an I.V., he got atleast 5 pokes. He then had to have a chest x-ray. Then... the bad news... he had to have a spinal tap to rule out menangitis. UGH... I knew it had to be done, but I did not want him to have to endure that kind of pain. I signed the consent and the Dr. began the test. After several pokes and a lot of screaming, he gave up and let another Dr. come in and try. Well, that Dr. couldn't get it either and I thought I might punch somebody watching him try all over again. It took everything out of me to not lose my mind and run from there with my sweet baby. After that Dr. couldn't get fluid either, I was told that he'd let the PICU dr. at St. Lukes in Boise try. We have to go to St. Lukes??? Yes and they want you to be Life Flighted by Helicopter! I completely lost it at this moment. The severity of the situation hit me and I horrible thoughts of going home without my sweet baby. And now I'm crying all over again just typing about it.
Well, we ended up just going up there in an ambulance and were quickly admitted to the PICU. They took his temp again - still 102.8, hooked him up to a cardiac monitor, a pulse-oximeter, and put oxygen tubes in his nose. He was breathing really funny and the Dr. was sure it was pneumonia. He wasn't able to get on-line to check the chest x-ray that was already done, so he ordered another one. It looked like it was maybe the start of pneumonia, but didn't look horrible. He then told me that he needed to do another spinal tap and try to get that fluid. I asked him about pain control because of the screaming that I'd already witnessed earlier. He agreed to give him a little sedative in his i.v. before starting. My husband got there just before they did this, Thank Goodness!!!, because as soon as they gave him the sedative he went completely limp and stopped breathing! We watched them rush to place the oxygen mask on him and shake, rub, pinch,.... whatever it took to finally get him to breathe and cry again. It seemed like an eternity, but I know it was only a few moments. My husband and I left the room because I couldn't possibly watch another spinal tap. They got fluid this time so he wouldn't have to go through that again. However, after removing the fluid he got what is called a "spinal headache". He screamed for hours and we knew he was in sooo much pain that we could do nothing for. My husband and I took turns holding him, not rocking, because that seemed to agrivate him more. Finally in the middle of the night he seemed to settle a little.
The next day he seemed to be doing better. The tests were all coming back negative and the Dr. even did another chest x-ray that came back pristine - completely clear of any signs of pneumonia. The were going to let us out of the PICU and go to a normal Pediatric room, but then Carsons fever spiked again to 102.8 and his heart rate jumped to around 230 bpm. So, they kept us there under close supervision. These pictures are all from day 2, sunday... he'd had the oxygen removed, but was very puffy. They say this was a result from the fluids and also a reaction from his body fighting whatever infection he had.






The next day we were able to go to a different room. All of his tests, both viral and bacterial, were still coming back negative. But, they said for as small as he is, and as sick as he was they wanted to keep him for a full 7 days on i.v. antibiotics just incase we got a false negative. I also carry group B strep, so they were very concerned that he could have contracted it regardless of the antibiotics I was given during labor and delivery. So... we stayed with little complaints for the full seven days. We had a few set backs throughout the week. His fever came back a few times, but much lower. His I.V. infiltrated, and his poor little arm was twice the size of the other, so they had to restart it in his foot. On tuesday, he stopped peeing and we had to restart his fluids. He got some nasal congestion which caused his oxygen levels to drop so they had to suction him and re-test for RSV - still negative. Late Wednesday afternoon was the first that I finally felt like he was getting back to normal. He seemed to be content and in little or no pain.
When Cliff got there that night he said that he might need to run to Target to pick up a few things for the house, unless ofcourse I wanted to go instead. Ahhhhhh.... I took him up on the offer. So after nursing Carson, I headed out for my breath of real air. When I got in the car I turned the radio on to hear this playing.....

I know that she's singing to her boyfriend or lover or whatever in this song, but the words came across so strong to me and I started crying.... again... "everything's gonna be alright"
I know - cheesy, but.....
So we weren't supposed to come home til saturday, but the dr was concerned about him being exposed to RSV or something else in the hospital, so on friday he gave him a shot of antibiotics that would last 24 hours and let us go. When he told me we got to go home, yes... I started crying. I think I had lost perspective and was sure that I'd be there forever. It feels so good to be home, back with my other kids, in my own bed at night, to just have Carson back home and better.
Here he is this morning, just as happy as I am to be home.

We're so grateful for all of the help from our friends and family this last week, especially for all of the thoughts and prayers.